Friday, June 3, 2011
Behold! The Weather Dominator 2.0!!
If only he knew then what we know now. This is not your father's Weather Dominator. Nowadays the average individual wields incredible influence over the Earth's weather and climate, if only we take the time to do it. You see, we all have these things they call "carbon footprints" that we can grow to enormous size and cause freak weather patterns all over the world.
CHAOS I tell you, CHAOS!!
Who knew? Who knew that I, the average individual, can cause polar bears to drown and jet streams to realign all by using incandescent bulbs and plastic bottles?
And did you know that if you take all the bottles we use in a year, you could circle the earth something like fidteem times? I would just like to say to the folks who came up with that statistic:
STOP TOUCHING MY BOTTLES!! It takes a long time to line them up along the equator like that and you just come along and toss them into the trash! I was going for the record, you meddling young jerks!